He’s becoming self-aware…Disney’s gonna have to handle that.
Remember the last time a Disney character became aware?
And he was never seen again.
She woke up like she did every day: slowly pulling her motorcycle helmet off, then shaking her head slowly back and forth to reveal a long, blonde ponytail. Everyone gasped. “That’s right,” she said, kicking the winning football goal before sliding into a sheer, sexy camisole under a blazer and playing as hard as she worked, “I’ve been a girl this whole time.” One of the guys, the real sexy one, shook his head in slow motion, as if to say “wh-wh-wh-whaaat?” You know the kind. His mouth was kind of open while he did it. He was totally blown away.
She walked off the field, and she knew everyone was looking at her butt, and she totally loved it. “Sorry, boys,” she called out over her super-sexy shoulder. She always called men boys, because she knew what gender was. Now she was carrying a briefcase and wearing a pencil skirt and sex glasses. She was at law.
“Your Honor,” she said, and the Honor paid attention, “I’d like to win this case,” and she totally did, she totally beat that busted-looking male lawyer who had the mushy face and wore suits that didn’t fit. She gave a little fist-pump, because even though she’s tough, she’s still relatable. “Girl power,” she said, high-fiving her curly-haired friend, who had just appeared behind her.
“Girl, you need a drink,” her curly-haired friend said, “and I need a man.” She laughed because her curly-haired friend didn’t really get it yet, but she was getting there…
A Day in the Life of an Empowered Female Character by Mallory Ortberg
this is a load of barnacles
ive said this before but ariel didnt want legs to be with eric. ariel wanted legs before she ever saw eric. but ariel is smart as hell and saw that jackass had a statue made of him and thought “if im gonna do this im gonna do it right and marry rich” and you would ALL DO THE SAME
i feel like i’ve fought for justice and won
Thank God We Solved Racism…
This epitomizes why the politics of respectability is so pointless and a ridiculous way to solve racism.
O’Reiley himself claims that if black men dress right, stay in school, and etc that they will be treated with respect. And yet, he blatantly disrespects a Columbia Professor dressed in a suit by reducing him to a cocaine dealer. This is how white people work. They give conditions for you to be treated with humanity, but even when you meet those arbitrary conditions you’re still treated as less than human.
And black people need to become wiser to these tactics. Because then Don Lemon wouldn’t have made the silly statements he made.
don lemon not black no more
My mom tried to grow a lemon tree here in rainy Washington state.
im laughing so hard im crying over this tiny ass lemon